Tendency to Wander

You ever have that problem where you know a song, but then your brain decides to change one of the words for no good reason, and when you run over the song in your head you keep using that wrong word?

At the PBC choir shindig on Sunday, we’re singing a song called Star of the East, among others. Bar 39, the words go

We a-wait Your grand re-turn; from the sky You shall ap-pear! ———–

Instead of singing sky, my brain started singing wings. Like, enter Jesus, stage right.

More recently, it’s started singing snakes.

.   .   .

Snakes.

One way to deal with being troubled/depressed/confused/frustrated:

Sleep through it! You can’t feel feelings if you’re unconscious!

I sleep approximately 10-12 hours per day now.

Yes, it’s only 10:00pm. However, if I have nothing better to do than go to sleep, then I should be able to do that. Winter’s coming and I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, therefore I tend to sleep a lot longer than usual a) because my energy is running low, and b) sometimes I just get sick of being awake and dealing with things, as emo as that sounds. You should not be using my bed as your work station. You can work both on my bed, and at the kitchen table. I can sleep in my bed, but not on the kitchen table.

Not only are you and your work sprawled all over my bed, but you are using my laptop, since your computer is in the shop. I am alright with camping out in the living room for now; however, without my laptop, I have nothing to do in the living room since I can’t turn the TV up loud, I don’t really have anything to read, and everyone else has gone to sleep. I’m not going to sit on the couch and twiddle my thumbs.

Do not irritably report to me that “it’s only 10:00″ when I walk in and see you and your things engulfing the only two point five square metres of space in this house that I should be able to legitimately claim as mine alone, and then reluctantly hand over my laptop when I request it. When I suggest that you can work at the kitchen table, do not state that you “can’t move all of this stuff now”, because you’ll have to move all of this stuff eventually when you let me go to sleep in my bed. Not that you ever really do; I’m always fishing pencil crayons, iPod charge-wires and rulers out from under my spine as I lay in the dark, in my bed. Then, once in a while, I’ll catch a faint whiff of your boyfriend on my blankets, because you hang out on my bed, since it’s the bottom bunk and it’s larger.

I’m going to have a loft. It’s going to have a balcony on the inside, maybe a balcony on the outside, a rope swing suspended from the ceiling which will allow one access to the balcony on the inside, secret doors, not-secret doors, a sewing room, a nest of pillows four metres in diameter, at least one exposed brick or stone wall, a sword, and a lot of potted plants.

Realistically, I’m going to have a little one-bedroom apartment. It’s going to have a balcony on the outside, slightly discoloured paint with a few bubbles in it here and there, lights that make a faint humming sound, doors that stick in the winter, not quite enough space to host parties how I like to, and a loud Greek man living on the other side of one of the walls who will blare atrocious club beats at all hours of the night. But I will fix the apartment up and it will be good.

I feel slightly nauseated, and if I fall asleep on this throw pillow, it’s going to leave floral-patterned indents all over my face. I’d like to go to sleep.

*     *     *

EDIT ~ 11.28.09:

~Used up the last of the printer paper and told no one

~Nice 1cm long scratch in my laptop screen

~Still finding stuff in my bed/having to kick you out of my own bed

Rageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerage ragerageragerageragerageragerageragerageragerage.

! O__O !

*click*

This must be where the rich/ridiculous families shop for their kids…

*     *     *

I’ll stop being a 13 year old boy now. Man, I was born to be a Jr. High leader…

are, surprisingly, quite disappointing.

Also, Googling “Google” does not, in fact, break the Internet.

*    *    *

I’m going to bed.

Hand-work.

Creating.

The violent yanking of something out of the world of 2-D and into the world of 3-D.

The weird mix of panic and adrenaline you get when you realize that you’ve only got one day to make an extremely ridiculous Ferocious Beast costume.

University vibes.

Energy drinks.

BRING IT.

More macrolicious nature shots, this time from the C&C retreat. :9 View ‘em full size, that’s the point.

Why do they grow all long and stick-uppy like that? Save me, Magic School Bus!

TEXTURRRRRRRRRRRRE… Guh. I loves it.

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^

In other news: Where The Wild Things Are. Never read the book as a kid, saw the movie on Monday.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie that warmed my insides so much. Artistically, it was brilliant, and the writing was…just…they captured the nuances of a child perfectly. The way that the main character acts, talks, tells stories, the way his imagination works…this Max Records kid is literally all that and a bag of Doritos. He nailed it. The music was pretty sweet too. I cried, I’m not gonna lie. I also busted out laughing a few times. Writing, man. I think if I had to describe this movie in one word, that word would be pure.

Is it wrong that watching this movie made me want to have a son? Is that weird? I fell irrevocably in love with this child (the character, not the actor), even with his few yelling fits here and there, and the first little bit of the movie where he’s chasing the dog around with a fork, and the fact that he’s a wee bit of a biter. I’m pretty sure if I ever do have a son he’ll turn out eerily similar to this kid anyway, and let’s face it, if my kid was a biter I’d probably just bite him back. We’d have bite-fights. Holy crap, I’m going to have to marry someone very stable to balance this kid out, or he’s gonna be totally feral. Slightly feral. A touch. Hello, Children’s Aid.

LOOK AT THIS CHILD. He has my eyes. =^__^=

On top of being the most adorable little boy ever to exist, he’s made a flippin’ plasticine dinosaur. <3 <3 <3

^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^

I totally just blew $130 on Internet t-shirts. Hooray for employment! In my defense, I am going through a bit of a t-shirt deficiency, and one of them is for my sister. Instead of posting which shirts I did get, I shall post a picture of the one I could not get, seeing as it was all sold out:

I love you, War Bear. *sniffle* ;__;

• I have acquired the furry pointy black hat what was mentioned in the previous entry. It is every bit as awesome as I imagined it.
• I am quite sick. This does not happen very often. I must learn to allow myself days off work sans guilt.
• It’s looking to be around that time of year again when I bust out my special winter-depression-fighting light.
• There are no job opportunities in my field. Either that, or they’re impossible to find. Balllllllllllls.
• Balls.
• I need a haircut again, and a new haircutter-person.
• I need to start my sister’s Halloween costume. I have trained her well in the art of ridiculousness.
• I don’t know what I’m being for Halloween, or what I’m doing for Halloween. I’ll likely just re-wear my ninja, or maybe my Catan dress. I dunno.
• I am a Junior High leader.
• I joined the church choir. I’m not entirely sure why, besides the fact that Kristy asked me to and I was/am bored. Why the heck not?
• There were gunshots outside my house two nights ago. I heard them, but I thought that they came from the park. Apparently my neighbours across the street found bullet casings on the road, though, so it wasn’t in the park. There were seven shots.
• Need a place of my own like whoa.
• Cirque du Soleil on Sunday, C&C retreat the weekend after that, Medieval Times the weekend after that, Halloween the weekend after that. Chyeah.
• …
• Am going to make an effort to combat my reclusive tendencies…namely, re-learning to use the telephone. It’s only my own fault if I’m lonely and do nothing about it.
• That totally made me sound like a huge loser.
• Wonder if anyone is planning on seeing Whip It, Surrogates, or Zombieland…
• Watched Ponyo online…good lord, Miyazaki, you are most definitely on the crack, but I still love you.
• Sick day: part II tomorrow? Guess we shall see…

Between:

But I know for sure that I want this hat:

EDIT: Actually I think that Stuff is Awesome wins out. I unwittingly posted them in order of preference. 3 and 4 are a tie. Alright then.

So, the last post I made ended with me mentioning a mystery event involving Cirque du Soleil’s new show OVO, which had been advertised in the newspaper from the day before, saying little more than “Dundas Square, September 2nd, noon”. I went to check it out, figuring that since it was obviously going to be some sort of promo stunt, that perhaps there would be a bit of a mini-performance, or things might be given away. Perhaps there would even be some little challenges where one could win a ticket to the show. I’ve seen such occurrences regularly at Yonge-Dundas Square involving other companies, so it didn’t seem too unrealistic at all.

I get down there in good time, I’m chilling out, doing some writing, whatever, and eventually I see a bunch of people waltz out of the Tim Hortons in extremely elaborate face paint, and I’m like “ah, there you are”. So, I go and sit in their more immediate vicinity, at least close enough to see what’s going on.

…and I’m like “sweet”.

Eventually they get their junk together, all of them have bags with stuff, and they filter into the crowd, dispensing their bounty of:

Clown noses.

…and I get up and make my way up Yonge St., chewing over the fact that I’d just spent $2.75 to get downtown to receive a foam clown nose.

I mean, I really don’t have anyone to blame but myself. There was absolutely nothing to suggest that there would be anything more than a mass clown nose handout, never mind a chance to win a ticket. Granted, they put up a web page countdown and ads in two consecutive newspapers advertising this, which in retrospect seems a bit superfluous. I’m starting to realize that perhaps my overactive imagination has the potential to cause me annoyance in the reality department. I have a tendency to picture things far more extravagantly than they turn out to be. This has happened to me on more than one Halloween, for example, where someone has mentioned a party, and my imagination comes up with this:

but my body ends up at this:

Halloween I’m getting better at though, since I am coming to accept the fact that I don’t operate in social circles that have access to Venetian palaces or opera houses.

Yet.

I do not approve of reality’s constant shortcomings. Life seems to find it amusing, handing me clown noses, and sticking wood boards in the back of my wardrobe where I know the forest should be. To this I say screw you, reality; one of us has to yield eventually, and it’s not going to be me.

On the plus side, I did get a lovely dew shot this morning:

(much better viewed full size)

I saw a crack in a bit of the bus that looked like a wing:

(It reminds me of Navi from Legend of Zelda, or the golden snitch from Harry Potter)

I am quite excited about this movie, which comes out in a week:

…and I had delicious cake with friends tonight, so I suppose the day’s not a total bust.